Celebrating New Years' Eve..

It’s the New Years’ Eve , I’m sitting here watching HIMYM exactly the way I’ve planed it to be.

Yup! This time no celebration , nothing . Not coz I don’t want to , but because things have drastically changed. I’m in a new place where I don’t really have company except a tiny little girl who smiles at me and wanna play with me.

I miss the running and wandering around the market to buy the decorative items and snacks.

I miss the time when I literally wanted to be online to talk to someone , but couldn’t as I had to rush to the veranda , to brain-storm with my friends on new ways to decorate our floor.

I miss the time when we were still busy sticking the balloons to the roof when its just 30 seconds before the midnight - before we officially welcome the new year.

I miss jumping in the air and bursting the balloons.

I miss cutting the cake with my friends.

I miss rubbing the cream on my friends’ face.

I miss clicking those pictures.

I miss burning those crackers.

And when we had enough , we used to sit on the stairs and make plans for the morning, yeah! I miss that too.

Yes! Things have changed a lot.

Then , I used be with friends , sometimes truly happy and sometimes feeling lonely inside though I had a wonderful company outside.

Now , I’m lonely , both inside and outside.

I sit here , travelling back to the memory lane ; thinking of those pretty sweet conversations , with love in the air; people showcasing creativity ; pulling each others leg ; In short , when we all had fun ‘together’.

I miss my home.

I miss you.

Here I’m watching the HIMYM series , just the way I planned the New Years’ Eve to be!

..

Can you tell me something ?
Honestly..
don't you miss me?
not at all??

Thankyou God!

Oh dear god!

Till now , Till this very moment ,

I’ve always wondered what you want from me?

Why are you placing so many hurdles in front of me?

Why do I find thorns in my path?

Why do I fall down with every step I take?

And yes!

I did ask “why me?”

Now , I realized it god.

I know why you made me face all those troubles,

Those fights ,

The way I struggled at every point of my life,

And I’m still struggling .

Now , I know god..

You want me to see the reality,

The true face of the world!

The way people cheat you,

The way people betray you,

The way people fake their identities.

Now , I’ve seen the true color of people whom I thought is a care-taker.

Someone I can trust.

Someone I can look-up to.

Someone once I’ve believed in.

Yeah! , once I believed , but stopped it long back.

Still , I had some kind of , I don’t know , hope may be , that he’s good.

Now, everything is clear god.

Today,

I announce the death of a person,

A person who stole my innocence .

A person who broke my trust on him ,

Who left me incompetent to trust anyone,

And the worst of all ,

Was once my identity.

R.I.P !

P.S : I don’t give a damn about others. No , nomore.

Thankyou God!

Birthday Wish!

The clock has just strike 12 ,

A new day has begun.

A day when many people come and wish me ; bless me ;

Shower love and gifts and what not.

Today is the day , when I’m treated like a Princess.

Nothing I ask is refused.

Everyone is around me,

Surprising me,

Trying to make me happy.

They ask me to make a wish,

The Birthday Wish!

Something rational rather practical.

But at this moment ,

I wanna be alone , silent .

Wanna look at the sky,

Search for the stars

And make a silent wish..

A wish for a person ,

A person , whom right now ,

Yeah! Right now , I can go and hug so tight ,

Cry on his shoulders.

Who can kiss away the pain,

Who can wipe off the tears,

Who can just sit with me,

Who can just take me into his arms,

And make me feel safe.

Someone who can set me free.

And yeah!

Someone who can look me in the eyes and

Say “I missed you” and really means it.

(Touch wood)

P.S. I Love You :-*

I don't understand...

mom says "your brother is far away from us , he's alone ; he has noone to care for him ; don't hurt him"
and "I'm here to take care of you".

and I ask myself " why do I still feel so lonely ? "